The 5 Things Solo Mothers by Choice Should Prioritize When Choosing a Fertility Clinic
Cost:
As a solo parent, you are venturing into motherhood on your own. If you do not have a trust fund, huge savings account, or family member who is funding this adventure, being intentional about your finances from day 1 is going to be critical. Before you start the process, you need to decide on how you plan to finance your fertility journey by asking yourself these questions:
Do I live in a state that covers fertility?
Does my company offer a fertility benefit for employees? If they do not, set up a meeting with HR and ask about if and when this may be possible for the company. Every year companies evaluate new benefits to add for employees. You never know if you don’t ask.
Would I consider moving to a state that covers fertility benefits?
Would I consider changing companies to work somewhere with fertility benefits?
Am I aware of part-time jobs that cover fertility benefits? Example: Starbucks, Walmart and Tractor Supply Company.
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, the number of clinics you could choose to work with will grow exponentially because you will be able to afford them. If your answer is “no” and affordability is a barrier for you, I recommend researching “affordable fertility clinics” across the US to find a list of places near you that you could work with. For monitored IUI procedures, the rates are comparable at most US clinics but for IVF, they can vary by 25K. I am currently working with CNY Fertility, one of the most affordable IVF providers in the US where IVF + testing/labs/additional services all in is about 8K.
Success Outcomes:
When choosing a clinic, make sure to check out sart.org, the professional organization that connects 86% of fertility clinics across the country, to review IVF success outcomes. These results should be used as one data point in your journey, not the deciding factor in choosing the clinic you work with. Many US clinics limit the type of patient they will work with while others will work with anyone who walks through the door. Because of this, some clinics may have very strong outcome data that is not actually a result of better care but rather a more stringent selection process. I used to lead a college access non-profit in Houston prior to solo motherhood and the sart.org data reminds of Harvard admissions in many ways. Is Harvard really so much better than every other college in the US or do they just collect the smartest students with the highest likelihood of success? That question is for another day. Regardless, look at the data, compare clinics in your area and bring these questions to your consultation appointment. If there are two clinics in your area with the same operating policies and one has a 45% success rate and the other has a 15% success rate, you will want to know why. Many clinics also track data by subgroup (age, race, single mothers by choice vs. general population) so finding out how solo mothers by choice do in the process is a great data point to know when selecting.
Convenience:
Fertility treatment is unpredictable. You may have to do an IUI on a weekend or evening to ensure you are optimizing your probability of success. Inquire about the hours of operation for the clinic you work with and the support line during your consultation call. If you are a solo mom by choice for a second or third child and you are managing several different schedules, flexibility and convenience will be even more important. Additionally, if you are traveling for care, make sure to inquire about the ways the clinic supports and advises patients who are from out-of-town.
Intuition:
Even with all of the information gathering prior to starting your process, nothing compares to the way you feel when you walk in the building. How do the employees at the front desk like their jobs? Do you feel like your nurses are listening to your concerns? Is the information you receive accurate? Do the exam rooms feel clean? Does the space feel inviting and comfortable? How do you really feel? Working with a clinic you trust might be the most important factor of all. In addition, I would also interview people who have used the clinic, and check Facebook groups and online forums to get a better idea of customer experience and success. Trust your intuition, self-advocate for what you need, and if something still does not feel right, it is probably time to try another clinic.
Inclusion:
As a single mom by choice, you are typically the minority in most clinics across the US. While this path to motherhood is growing, it is not the norm. The majority of clients are lesbian couples, and heterosexual couples experiencing infertility. Knowing this is important because it is very easy for your story and fertility profile to get lost in the shuffle. Many treatments suggested for the monitored IUI process specifically are designed for women who have struggled to get pregnant and stay pregnant. For example, many clinics will prescribe progesterone after the IUI leading up to the pregnancy test. However, if you have no known fertility issues and there is not a history low progesterone, there really isn’t a need for this drug. Working with a clinic who understands your profile and adjusts their treatment to your profile is important. While most clinics try to be inclusive, the onus will fall on your to self-advocate, remind them that you are a soon-to-be solo mom and ask questions when specific treatment doesn’t seem to apply to you.